


Trying to Get Out  of War..... Klinger Style

by Heygurl99



Category: MASH (TV), Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Crossover, Gen, How Do I Tag, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Light-Hearted
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-07
Updated: 2019-08-07
Packaged: 2020-08-11 06:00:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20148796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Heygurl99/pseuds/Heygurl99
Summary: Decided that I wanted to see a hilarious conversation from MASH in the Star Wars universe. I wrote this at first for myself but after reading it I wanted to share this light hearted story because even though our world is filled with darkness (especially with recent events) we all desirve to have lightness in our lives.





	Trying to Get Out  of War..... Klinger Style

**Author's Note:**

> Important information for those not familiar with the character Klinger from MASH.
> 
> Klinger is involved in a make shift hospital that is near the front lines during the Korean War. Through out most of the show Klinger is constantly trying to convince his commanding officers that he is insane by dressing up in an array of women's clothing and accessories to get out of the war. Not only that he also comes up with outlandish stories about family emergencies to get him back home. However everyone at the camp can see through him because he still preforms his duties and has admitted numerous times how he faking everything to get kicked out of the army. All in all he is a very enjoyable character to watch.  
If you haven't watched MASH I highly recommend it, this show is not only funny but also focuses on the seriousness of War and the effects it can have on people.

Obi-wan feels a bit of tension in his shoulder blades as he finishes up his last meeting with the Jedi Council for this morning. When the call finally ends Obi-wan couldn't help but give a silent thanks to the force for him not having any more meetings for the day. Not that that means his work for the day is done. No if Obi-wan remembers correctly, he still has to finalize his weekly reports, look over and submit some request forms, and set up more meetings between him and a few Senators. Just thinking about what he has to do for the rest of the day makes him have a premature headache. 

Turning to leave the Command Center, Obi-wan gives Cody a curt nod and begins his quiet trek to his office. As he walks down the familiar path Obi-wan's allows his thoughts to wander. He marvels on how much his life has changed over the last decade, going from Padawan to Jedi Knight to Jedi Master to High General to Jedi Council Member. He can hardly believe that he managed to get so far while being so young. Then again war can make the impossible possible, he muses to himself. Now with the seemingly never ending war on his mind, he can't help but yearn for the days where all he had to worry about was being his Master's padawan or keeping a young Anakin out of trouble when on simple diplomatic missions. As nostalgia fills his heart with a heavy sadness Obi-wan suddenly finds himself at his office's door.

Quickly realising where his thoughts were heading he released his emotions into the force and refocused on the present once more. After opening the door the young yet aged Jedi takes a look at his office: bland grey steel walls, bright luminescent lights coming from the ceiling, a plain rectangular metal desk near the back wall which is nearly covered in stacks of flimsies and padds, a well used comfortable chair stands behind the desk and two smaller metal chairs in front of the desk, against the back wall there is a large open filing cabinet filled with files of all the men in the 212th Attack Battalion, and small wooden cabinet that looks out of place in the dull looking office. Making his way to the small cabinet Obi-wan let out a silent sigh. He opens the cabinet and contemplates, So many choices but which one do I choose? Coming to a decision, he pulls out his favorite Corellian Brandy and a glass from his private drink collection. 

When he was done pouring himself a generous serving of brandy, he puts the bottle back into the cabinet and settles down in his chair. Ah! What a nice way to begin my work, Obi-wan muses to himself while taking a sip of brandy. Placing the drink down he reaches for one the padds on his desk and turns it on. Noticing that the time is almost 13:00 Standard Coruscant Time, he merrily thinks He should be here any minute now. Just as he finished that thought, Obi-wan hears the distinct knocking of clone trooper MS-4077 aka Klinger.

As Obi-wan grants the trooper permission to enter his office, the Jedi turned General begins to brace himself for the amusing yet tedious conversation he is about to have. Klinger enters the room with a mournful look in his eyes and flimsy clutched in his hand. However, what really catches Obi-wan's attention is what Klinger is wearing. Today for their daily conversation Klinger is wearing a woman's mourning dress from the planet Toledo and to really sell the look, the clone is also wearing a black veil to cover his face and a necklace of pearls with matching earnings. Putting the padd down Obi-wan looks Klinger in the eyes, raises his right eyebrow, and flatly asks, "What is it this time Klinger?" 

Taking this as permission to speak, Klinger somehow manages to gracefully drape himself across one of the small metal chairs and sadly sighs. "Oh sir, how do I even begin. You see my mother just sent me a letter explaining how my father died in a horrific accident and how she needs me to come back home to Toledo to help her take care of the rest of the family." 

Taking all this information in Obi-wan, without taking his eyes off of Klinger, reaches behind him and grabs a familiarly large file labeled 'Klinger.' Opening the file Obi-wan says, "Here we go. Father dying, right?" "Yes, sir" Klinger answers. Obi-wan going through letters in Klinger's file, "Father dying, last year. Mother dying, last year. Mother and father dying. Mother, father, and older sister dying. Mother dying and older sister pregnant. Older sister dying and mother pregnant. Younger sister pregnant and older sister dying. Here's an oldie but a goodie: half of the family dying, other half pregnant." He puts the letters down "Klinger, aren't you at least a little ashamed of yourself?"

Klinger bows his head, looks Obi-wan in the eyes, and softly replies "Yes sir." But then cheekily adds, "I don't deserve to be in the Army." Obi-wan Kenobi fondly rolls his eyes and with mocking sternness "Don't come back here until you can come up with a better story to convince me your insane and should be discharged from the Army. Do you understand Klinger?." The trooper pulls himself up from the chair and in a playful manner salutes his General. "Loud and clear sir!" teases Klinger. "Alright trooper your dismissed." With a bit of flare, Klinger makes his way to the door. Just as he was about to leave Obi-wan pipes up "By the way darling I love your shoes." Pulling up his dress slightly to show off his short heeled yet stylish shoes, "Thank you sir! I can hook you up to my dealer!" "Thank you my dear, but I must decline your offer for I'm afraid I can't pull off those shoes quite like you do." 

With Klinger now gone Obi-wan slowly puts the file back in its original spot, straightens out his robes, takes a sip from his glass, and picks up his abandoned padd. Before turning on the padd he smiles to himself and joyfully thinks, 'I wonder what Klinger will say and wear tomorrow at 13:00?'

**Author's Note:**

> I might do a follow up story on how Klinger became this way in the Star Wars universe.  
I don't know... I'll see.


End file.
